Insufferable iPad Bleatings-Off to the Mall
On my way out the door hopefully to score an iPad today. Meaning it is time for the haters to step up. I think this is going to be the greatest advance in human history since the second biggest advance, which of course was baked bread. (The biggest advance obviously being the genius that let grain spoil in exactly the right way to make beer.)
Some people have had iPads in their hands for 48 hours. Others are sickened to death over the hype. Here is your chance to express your opinion either way or on anything else at all prior to Bruce getting his hands on one.
Open tech thread. And yes I expect Ken H and I will have a colloquy on this.
(BTW as an additional hook. There is a theory that credits the transition from hunter/gathering to settled agriculture to the need to have a steady supply of grain to make beer. Not kidding at all.)
I was about to… and then read the the last paragraph. No kidding to it al all. Is even thought in some circles to be the basis for Ben Franklin’s proof of ‘god’ and its intent for man.
Bruce,
There is a theory that credits the transition from hunter/gathering to settled agriculture to the need to have a steady supply of grain to make beer.
And you dismiss the “Intelligent Design” theory 🙂
Bruce,
There is a theory that credits the transition from hunter/gathering to settled agriculture to the need to have a steady supply of grain to make beer.
And yet you dismiss “Intelligent Design” theory 🙂
Sammy – That version of “intelligent design” has been practiced by Southern and Midwestern women for years:
1) young marriage, often of necessity
2) Make certain husband is insured
3a) feed husband fried foods and beer,
3b) Send him hunting, also with plenty of beer
4) Wait for the inevitable; enjoy rest of life.
Bruce,
Yes, I’m saddened that you need to be a Consumer of This Specific Apple; Bill Gates needs the money?
I’m waiting until the iMaxi can do something that I can’t do with a Netbook.
Personally, I love seeing people cooing over the super-sized iPod Touch because it presents a great life lesson. If you take something that already exists, make it bigger, and give it a new name, some people will actually be convinced that it is completely new. P.T. Barnum had nothing on Steve Jobs.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my iPhone 3G, which I’ve had for almost two years now. Everything people are saying about the iPad today is what I was saying about my iPhone when I got it. That’s probably why I can’t see buying an iPad: I got mine almost two years ago when it was called the iPhone, but my iPad fits in my shirt pocket, can make phone calls, and has a camera. The iPad is a step down from the iPhone.
If you travel enough to want an ebook reader then an iPad makes sense. Otherwise, I just don’t see the purpose.
The cool think about the beer theory, as opposed to intelligent design, is that the beer theory is logically consistent and backed up a substantial body of evidence. Otherwise, they are equally good, in that they create a stylized explanation for something or other, which explanation relies on a source of comfort for its explanatory power.
For those not familiar with the beer theory, which has been around for a long time now *, here are a couple of links.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2001/04/0424_kurtbeer.html
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/archaeology/features/did-a-thirst-for-beer-spark-civilization-1869187.html
*The author(s) of the Gilgamash story, as it has come down to us, thought that beer leads to civilization. Gilgamesh’s eventual best buddy (you knew Gilgamesh was a buddy movie, right?) Enkidu is living among the beasts and breaking traps as our story begins. Hunters go to King Gilgamesh (who is living among the city folk and breaking just about everything else, including every hyman in town) and ask that he deal with the wild man. Gilgamesh sends a hooker and beer. Enkidu gets a taste of each, and the animals stop having him over for tea. Enkidu is civilized.
The cool thing about the beer theory, as opposed to intelligent design, is that the beer theory is logically consistent and backed up a substantial body of evidence. Otherwise, they are equally good, in that they create a stylized explanation for something or other, which explanation relies on a source of comfort for its explanatory power.
For those not familiar with the beer theory, which has been around for a long time now *, here are a couple of links.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2001/04/0424_kurtbeer.html
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/archaeology/features/did-a-thirst-for-beer-spark-civilization-1869187.html
*The author(s) of the Gilgamash story, as it has come down to us, thought that beer leads to civilization. Gilgamesh’s eventual best buddy (you knew Gilgamesh was a buddy movie, right?) Enkidu is living among the beasts and breaking traps as our story begins. Hunters go to King Gilgamesh (who is living among the city folk and breaking just about everything else, including every hyman in town) and ask that he deal with the wild man. Gilgamesh sends a hooker and beer. Enkidu gets a taste of each, and the animals stop having him over for tea. Enkidu is civilized.
Mmmm… beer. And you can make dang fine beer at home, too.
I want to be the first to make this prediction: the iPad will finally induce men, whether “metrosexual” or Simpsonesque, to begin to carry purses.
Oh, they won’t be shiny patent leather or brocade, but nothing but a purse with a shoulder strap will successfully protect an iPod and keep it hung on ones body while running around doing other things.
I have always felt women had the best of it, being allowed to carry around an eminently sensible bag into which they can stow books, ID, camera, and in a pinch, a tuna-salad sandwich. Jump on in guys, it’s a good deal!
Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!!
Noni
waaaants iPad!
“…successfully protect an iPod…”
iPad, of course.
Noni,
Where you been? Man-purse has been around for decades. Not clutches, of course, but manly shoulder bags. Eye-pads are big enough to justify manly shoulder-carriers. Big. Manly. Good.
Bruce – Go for it. I love early adopters, brings down the cost of everything from iPads to heart surgery and generates the market for it!!!
I’ll pick one up in two years for $50 bucks and it will be faster/better than the one your using.
Can it play Empire:Total War? or any of teh HPS games I playtest for as a hobbie?
Islam will change
saw one at a picnic yesterday. they are sweet. i can’t imagine buying one myself unless content and software are unlocked, which they won’t be in the apple world.
K – Its called a backpack…
Wow the guy at Best Buy says iPads are sold out up and down the West Coast, their stock went in less than an hour Saturday. But there is a tiny Apple specialty store at the Mall and they had two left. One now.
Hooray for me. Except I had to spring for the 64GB version for an extra $200. Considering that in the history of computing nobody has ever bitched in the end about having too much disk space I suppose I’ll get over it. But I am thinking Enkidu needs to buy his own beer this month.
Got to install iTunes newest version, then sync up.
But I’ll leave you with this. An iPad will work sealed in a one-gallon zip-lock bag (its been tested). An iPad would take a full size Chiltern’s auto repair manual and display it in a useable size and the form factor of an iPad allows you to actually view it under the car or under the hood. And the zip-lock will protect it from moisture and grease. Can you do that with an iPhone or netbook?
And I’m just getting started on examples. Wait until I get a chance to actually work with it.
There are people starving, people in need of critical medical care. Instead of giving money to charity you are overpaying for an overhyped item, giving tons of money to Steve Jobs.
Typical liberal elitist thinking. Don’t make me pay for services for the poor. Let me buy an (inseter overpriced item) and make (insert CEO that conned you into buying his product) pay for serivces for the poor.
“Ben Franklin’s proof of ‘god’ and its intent for man” was common knowledge to members as he and his contemporaries of secret illuminated societies hoarding ancient wisdom handed down from the dawn of humanity (or at least the ten thousand or so years since the last ice age).
Known as well the need to speak in parables, as such wisdom is not for everyone.
Been north of 50 apparently. We don’t see much in the way of man-purses in this town. *pout*
Beer, happy Produce of our Isle
Can sinewy Strength impart,
And wearied with Fatigue and Toil
Can cheer each manly Heart
Labour and Art upheld by Thee
Successfully advance,
We quaff Thy balmy Juice with Glee
And Water leave to France.
Genius of Health, thy grateful Taste
Rivals the Cup of Jove,
And warms each English generous Breast
With Liberty and Love!
From Hogarth’s “Beer Street”, the companion piece to the more famous “Gin Lane”.
Come, pipe a tune to dance to, lad.”
Why, if ’tis dancing you would be,
There’s brisker pipes than poetry.
Say, for what were hop-yards meant,
Or why was Burton built on Trent?
Oh many a peer of England brews
Livelier liquor than the Muse,
And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God’s ways to man.
Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think:
Look into the pewter pot
To see the world as the world’s not.
A. E. Housman
Love it when you pout.
Fuck you Jay. How much money did you give to starving kids today?
“Typical liberal elitist thinking. Don’t make me pay for services for the poor.”
Ya douchebag it is not liberals that demand tax cuts for the rich while ripping up the safety net. Who exactly was it that blocked the extension of unemployment because he demanded it be paid for but yet still demands ever more tax cuts on capital?
Tom Coburn, Bleeding Heart Liberal. As if.
I am really sick and tired of conservatives trying to play off of liberal guilt. When Rush decides to devote 10% of his Oxycontin budget to charity or if Beck abandons the belief that ‘Social Justice’ is just something that Jesus Wouldn’t Do then get back to me. Otherwise shove it.
By odd coincidence I am drinking beer right now. And no the sun isn’t over the yardarm, in fact here in the Pacific Northwest it is not even clear that the sun is up. It is a myth that the Seattle area is rain drenched, measured in inches we get less rain than most places on the East Coast, but in point of fact the sky is often gray and leaking moisture year round. On the other hand on a clear summer day you can be bobbing around in a boat in the middle of Puget Sound and see snow-topped mountains in all four directions: Volcanos Mt Baker to the north and Rainier to the south plus the Cascades to the east and the Olympics to the West. But I ramble.
The iPad adds up to its billing. I am happily adding free books to its various book reading applications, what was a pain on my iPhone is a joy on that big screen. And Google Earth never looked more gorgeous, even though the App is not optimized for iPad. And if I was forty years younger I would be killing to have that Marvel Comics app, complete with free samples. Plus I have an application that seemingly gives me access to every Sci-Fi book from the Golden Age and before. Just make sure you have an unlimited data plan and/or download all those books from home or you will be in the poorhouse in days.
I get e-mail
This is Ali Skodol at Attention writing on behalf of NASDAQ OMX. I noticed that you’re buying an iPad today (congratulations). We’d love for you to consider reviewing NASDAQ’s Portfolio Manager app (aka the QFolio HD).
Building upon the iPhone app, the (free!) QFolio HD includes additional visualization capabilities like a flashing price screen showing real-time stock movements. I’ve attached a few screen images, and of course you can also check it out at the app store:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/nasdaq-omx-portfolio-manager/id364265462?mt=8
Well I told Ali that I know bubkis about investing and so was not a good candidate for reviewing this product but would share the link with the Bears who actually know something. So maybe Ken can download it to his iPhone. As for me ‘portfolio management’ means looking for change under the couch cushions.
While it shares similarities with the iPhone and Touch, the larger screen really repurposes it. More capable for many tasks because of the larger screen. For many it will be a laptop replacement.
I watched a teenager use it, EVERY teen will want one after playing with it.
I will be getting a 3G model in a few weeks. Already saved up for it. But I may also get one of these too if reviews are psoitive:
http://www.notionink.com/
The HP Slate looks promising too, but we will see – skeptical with anythings Windows based.
Email, web browsing, games, all sorts of other apps, light computing tasks, FAST boot time at 1.5 pounds – that beats lugging around a laptop. Using a laptop on an airplane can be painfully cramped, I guarentee you the iPad will be much easier as the touch interface is just better than a laptop mouse.
People are way underestimating touch/tablet computing devices.
***There is a theory that credits the transition from hunter/gathering to settled agriculture to the need to have a steady supply of grain to make beer.
And yet you dismiss “Intelligent Design” theory :)*** Sammy
I submit that the existence of American beer is all the proof that is needed to demonstrate that there is not, and indeed can not be, a God nor an intelligent designer. There may however be a devil — who clearly hates us. (Windows 7 is further evidence that the universe is not run by benificent forces).
I am hardly a Liberal, and I see buying an iPad not much different than donating to a charity. In fact I find donating to charity no more noble than buying a product or patronizing a local business. iPads support jobs, which pay people wages. You can argue that some people involved do not get enough wages, but charity has plenty of issues too. Yes, some of those jobs are in a foreign country (manufaturing), but those people need jobs too.
Jobs associated with the iPad:
Parts and materials
Manufacturing/assembly
Engineers of hardware
Marketing folks
Software designers (OS, and all the Apps)
Accesories
etc….
Then people that earn those wages associated with those jobs, might go out to eat, might donate to charity etc…..
Bruce,
When Rush decides to devote 10% of his Oxycontin budget to charity or…… then get back to me. Otherwise shove it.
Oprah Ranked Most Generous Celebrity (Rush Limbaugh #10)
10. Rush Limbaugh, $4.2 million.
“Financial assistance to the children of Marines and law-enforcement officers killed in the line of duty.” (also Leukemia/Lymphoma society)
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2083034/posts
Just getting back to you. And I guess Jay doesn’t have to shove it.
The Marvel Comics application would be enough to draw in every teen geek out there. My last comic book buy was probably back in 1966 so not a big deal for me, but they render beautifully. And the iPad’s built in accelerometer means any game based on navigation in space, say you typical flying, car race or single action shooter game can be played simply by holding your iPad up and moving it around will get the rest. And oh did I say Facebook? And YouTube?
Speaking of which you just have to see the MadTV satire that has a Steve Jobs character showing off the new iRack. Too bad the war thing caused so many deaths or you would split your sides laughing. Though not so much when Steve introduces the upcoming project in the i-line, the iRan. Just one posting racked up 4,716,401 views, another 418k and another 855k. Hate on the iPad if you will but you owe it to yourself to watch the iRack YouTube.
Open question.
Will the iPad work with the new multi-touch Apple Mouse? In principle it should and if it does it just leverages the capability, I can just see sitting 24″ away from the screen and manipulating everything via a mouse in my right hand. Prior to the release of the iPad the Multi-touch seemed like a product in search of a niche, now maybe not so much. If it works.
Well I just have to say that Bud performs amazingly well in blind taste tests with other world lagers, some people just seem to believe that if you can’t float your spoon on the surface it just isn’t Real Ale. Like any right minded beer drinker I stand in contempt of the various ‘flavors’ of Lite Beer, but a lot of the hating on American Beer is just the after-effects of snobbery.
I speak as a guy that had a famous collection of foreign beer bottles back in the 70’s, a time when even Heinekin was exotic to most people, and who at the same time was a serious Single Malt Scotch afficianado, Sometime around 1980 I pulled the stick out of my ass and just started drinking Bud and Bacardi and Coke and left most of that top shelf stuff alone. And haven’t looked back.
The guy makes over $120 million a year. And anyone who cites Free Republic as a reliable source of anything is not to be taken seriously. Got something from a neutral source?
My Site (click to edit),
Got something from a neutral source?
The original source is The Giving Back Foundation. http://www.givingback.org/Programs_Services/GivingBack30_2007.html
Free Republic cites the Giving Back Fund. The 2009 version of which is here:
http://givingback.org/Programs_Services/GivingBack30_2008.html
Not only is Rush not in the top 10, he doesn’t show in the top 30. Plus the list is based on self-reporting by publicists and agents so not particularly reliable to start with.
And Rush was just a symbol for the overall callousness of the Right in general. They don’t give a shit about the poor and waste no time or effort disguising that.
mcwop: When you give money to poor people you are giving it to those with the highest MPC (marginal propensity to consume). A larger percentage of charitable donations will get spent.
My Site: Do you lack the logical acumen to comprehend that pointing out the flaws of liberals does not imply endorsing republicans?
Best of luck with your iPad. I suspect that they will be successful with people who want to primarily consume — not generate — content. If I were going to spend the money for myself, I’d probably go with the Always Innovating Touchbook. Twice as heavy, and certainly not going to be as pretty, but multitasks, I can program it, has a real keyboard (although you can take just the tablet portion if you want), and USB connections.
“Democratic vice presidential candidate Joe Biden and his wife gave an average of $369 a year to charity during the past decade, his tax records show.”
http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/election2008/2008-09-12-biden-financial_N.htm
In a 34-page 1997 federal tax return, Vice President Al Gore and wife Tipper reported giving $353 to charity, http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:Q1sIP61_hvcJ:www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/1998/04/15/gore.taxes/+al+gore+charitable+contributions&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us
In 1995, John Kerry reportedly had a taxable income of $126,179, and made charitable contributions of $0. In 1994, he gave $2,039 to charity. In 1993, the figure was $175. In 1992, it was $820, and in 1991, it was $0. http://donbryant.wordpress.com/2009/03/07/john-kerrys-charitable-contributions/
In one of the largest sums ever donated to charity by a U.S. public official, Vice President Dick Cheney and his wife Lynne gave away nearly $7 million last year to help the poor and to medical research. http://archive.newsmax.com/archives/ic/2006/4/15/02358.shtml
President Ronald Reagan, for instance, was often called heartless and callous by liberals. Unlike Roosevelt or JFK, Reagan was not a wealthy man when he became president. He had no family trust or investment portfolio to fall back on.
And yet, according to his tax returns, Reagan donated more than four times more to charity — both in terms of actual money and on a percentage basis — than Senator Ted Kennedy. http://tsfiles.wordpress.com/2008/06/15/charity-donations-and-liberal-hypocricy/
Sammy,
Bruce is “My Site (click to edit)”. Or at least I’m pretty sure. He’s posting from his blackberry (?) I think.
And your point about the right donating far more than the left has been well documented many times. The left tends to donate to political causes and preferably using OPM.
Islam will change
I don’t know about acumen but I got a good memory. Your commenting history precedes you.
Yeah “My site” is Bruce, for some reason my home computer recognizes me as Moderator but not as a person. My iPhone posts me under my real name.
Mostly the Right scores more than the left on charity because they donate to churches. Now you can argue whether tithing to a Morman Church that mostly uses the money to support its own while resisting taxes to pay for social services for non-church members is really ‘charity’, or whether donating weekly to the Catholic Church to insure that the Pope can still afford his Prada slippers is either, but to me donating money so a preacher can build a Crystal Cathedral and wear $4000 suits is not my idea of big-hearted humanitarianism.
Giving $1000 to the symphony and only getting a lobster dinner and your name on a plaque officially scores as ‘charitable giving’, subtract out those elements of that giving which end up being self-serving your religious and class interests and get back to me. ‘Tax deductible’ does not equate to ‘charitable’ in all cases.
Michael the iPad also can be put on a dock cum keyboard and so turn itself into a pretty functional home computer. Just as it can be fitted with adaptors to allow it to connect to USB devices and SD cards. People just don’t understand the evil genious that is Steve Jobs.
Google ‘Kindle DX’. Amazon bet the store that they could produce a second generation dedicated eBook reader at a price point that would induce people to buy it rather than the upcoming iPad which was rumored to cost $800-$1000. Instead Jobs introduced an entry level iPad that without accessories including keyboard, card slots, and camera came in at $4 more than the black and white DX. That strange sound you hear is Amazon swirling around the drain as they scramble to catch up.
To make the iPad all you would want it to be requires throwing some imagination and maybe $200 in externals at it. But in the meantime it simply cut the knees off of Jeff Bezos, the DX has been strangled in its cradle. $495 for a B&W DX? Or $499 for a color iPad that also plays games and supports productivity software?
The form factor kills and the price point hits the sweet spot and the combination simply rocks. I found an application that gives free access to pretty much every Science Fiction classic from the early sixties back to Jules Verne (and some not so classic). Each takes about 5 seconds to download. I never even got to reading my newspaper yesterday and I am a news junkie, the reading experience is that good.
Bruce’s site,
Giving $1000 to the symphony and only getting a lobster dinner and your name on a plaque officially scores as ‘charitable giving’, subtract out those elements of that giving which end up being self-serving your religious and class interests and get back to me
Gettin back to you. Funny you bring this up.
“RUSH Limbaugh is much more charitable than Nancy Pelosi…….the most recent tax records show Limbaugh gave money to “various individuals in need of assistance mainly due to family illnesses” ($109,716), “children’s case management organizations” ($52,898) and “Alzheimer’s community care” ($35,100).
And Pelosi’s contributions? The list includes the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art ($36,500) and San Francisco Symphony ($5,600). “But with the exception of an occasional $1,000 contribution to a Boys & Girls Club, little went to the less fortunate,” Schweizer, a Stanford professor, writes.”
http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/item_mQ8l7DsfqfZFbgkOuO3S2M;jsessionid=1078BD5965C4F3F69E506E14C9D6F24A#ixzz0kRFLGZxk
Estimates of Pelosi’s net worth range from $25M to $92M. http://www.nndb.com/people/231/000030141/
Bruce,
Please can you actually name that SF application? I have a neighbor who is an SF nut, just bought the iPad and it would make her day if I could point it out to her (I assume there are 10 zillion apps out there).
Thanks in advance!
Try “Gulden Draak” sometime. Mmmmm, tastes like dark gingerbread raised up into beer heaven. And all you need is one, it’s that rich and strong.
Many obviously wonderful features of the iPad, but one that’s quite disappointing to me: the iWork stuff looks like a last-minute bolt-on, to deflect anticipated complaints that it was for consumers, not creators. So the productivity apps, snazzy as they are, have a gawdawful “synch” mechanism to get them between the iPad and anywhere else, and printing doesn’t exist.