Maybe There IS a Reason Ross Douthat Exists

I have generally decided that the NYT’s attempt at becoming the WSJ on its editorial page is not worth the trouble of discussing. An editorial staph that replaces the despicable but somewhat coherent Bill Kristol with the execrable incoherence of Ross Douthat is clearly suffering a fatal infection, and therefore not deserving of support.

But then the Lovely and Talented Susan of Texas gets loose. And, while there is still no reason to bother with the original, the interpretation is a standard against which all others should be judged:

Shorter Ross Douthat: I tried to have some sort of intercourse about Iraq but the Left was like a chunky Reese Witherspoon, masticating on Colin Powell’s UN presentation and spilling its breasts out of its protests. I wanted to surge into Iraq but the Left wanted a premature withdrawal. If we withdraw, Iraq will swell into violence and give birth to a Middle Eastern abomination, one that even the Left can’t abort.

If you can’t do that, folks—and most of us cannot—don’t bother with the backlinks. It will only delude the NYT that they have some reason to exist that is not named Bob Herbert or Paul Krugman.