Consider this a bright, cheerful post, as opposed to my next one.
When I was in school I ran with kid down the street
But I watched him burn himself up on bourbon and speed
But I was smarter than most and I could choose
Learned to talk like the man on the six o’clock news
Always keep in mind, of course, that a thick accent comes in handy, especially if you’re trying to be underestimated. But that’s not generally in the first round.