Make Conservatives Angry
Tuesday is the day for My Life, Bill Clinton’s book. Here I shall write for you, the reader, a list of what you will hear over the next few days, so that you can safely ignore the blathering pundits:
- Clinton is hurting Kerry by stealing the spotlight.
- Clinton is hurting Kerry by stealing the spotlight, so that Kerry will lose and Hillary can run in 2008.
- Clinton’s charisma and eloquence make Kerry look bad [but they will rarely if ever be contrasted to W. Bush’s lack of skills in those areas.]
- Clinton got blowjobs. In the Oval Office.
- Bill Clinton’s book is outselling Hillary’s 7 to 1.
- Monica Lewinsky. Monica Lewinsky. Monica Lewinsky. Monica Lewinsky. And, did I mention, Monica Lewinsky?
- Whitewater. Travelgate. FBI files. Waco.
- And, maybe if you listen very closely, at just the right time: eight years of peace and prosperity. Budget surplus. Record job growth. Surging home ownership. Real income growth. Fiscal responsibility. Compassion. Good relations with allies around the world. More popular than Reagan, based on exit polls in 1989 and 2001.