More Observations About Being Married

Most guys know that the second law of thermodynamics does not apply to all things. In particular, it does not apply to clothing.

T-shirts, shorts, socks, sweaters, and even some shoes and slacks become more comfortable with wear. In fact, you have to wear a piece of apparel regularly for about ten years or so before it ripens into the comfort zone.

I always had a suspicion that women didn’t understand this. Growing up, I learned to hide my choicest items lest my mother would throw them away just as they were developing air conditioning vents, becoming lighter, or developing character. Sadly, it did not occur to me that the Ex-GF would do the same. Actually, her behavior was not the same – it was worse. She was far more thorough, disposing of every comfortable and semi-comfortable thing in my closet, and my beautiful clothes were replaced by stuff that looked, felt, and smelled obscenely new.

To appreciate the magnitude of this tragedy, you have to know that I work mostly from home, and I have done so for the past seven years. That means I wear shorts and a t-shirt except on those few occasions when I have to see a client, or when it actually drops below 50 here in Los Angeles. And that, in turn, means that every one of my three pairs of shorts and twenty or so t-shirts had been beautifully broken-in; expertly worn until they fit me perfectly.

How Kipling could miss this one among the things a a man must be able to put up with is beyond me.